Circumstances might be keeping you from enjoying a “together” kind of Christmas, but guess what? Gifts. That’s what. I love receiving gifts, but I confess I’m shoddy at giving them. Samsies? This year, that changes.

Without further ado, here are 5 gifts—created by me—that I HONEST-to-GAD enjoyed making. I almost don’t care if no one buys these. (I LIE! I CARE!)

Maybe something will catch your eye for an auntie, a parent, a sibling, or a disreputable-yet-much-loved friend, or YOU, or for all of you! Here’s where I say that orders of over $50 get free shipping. 😉

These items will be available on my shop for a limited time, starting November 1 through to December 31.

Happy Holidays, y’all.

Gift idea #1:
Dogs Mugging You

G’morning, g’afternoon, g’night.
These dogs promise daily delight.
So go on, place one in your cart
Cuz then they’ll never depart!
Their eyes will track all your moves,
From morning ups to midday news.
Bachelors, spinsters, mothers, fathers,
Sisters and brothers (and all and any others)–
We all could use a friend!
And while I cannot attend,
To you, this mug I will send!
Get it now, cuz here I end.

(In other words: This is an enamel mug, featuring dogs mugging. Buy it for yourself, or a friend, or a dog friend.)

Gift idea #2:
Must Love Dogs + Bread Blanket

For dog lovers, who love bread… and bread lovers, who love dogs… This super-soft blanket is where the two universes collide to give you a warm hug. You’re welcome. It’s a throw blanket, a sofa blanket, a dog blanket, or an extra blanket to use under a down comforter. Other uses: A gift for that impossible person in your life who needs daily hugs from bread-shaped dogs. (Art work inspired by Taro, a real-life bread-shaped dog.)

Gift idea #3:
The All-Purpose Greeting Cat T-shirt

An energetic air is a tall ask,
But with this T, you’re up for the task.
It’s happy [Whatever!] all the time.
No occasion? That’s jus’ fine.
The Greeting Cat is here to Greet,
For holiday, birthday, or whoe’er you meet.
For days when you simply can’t smile,
But you’re required to walk a mile,
This cat will prop you up
To say “what ho!” and “bottom’s up!”

Gift idea #4:
Hermit Crab Okaerinasai T Shirt

An intruder? A house guest? Or is it just another family gathering? Mysteries abound. In any case, the word in Japanese is “Okaerinasai,” which means “welcome home.” Get this graphic print T shirt for yourself if you’re feeling crabby but also want to be welcomed home by someone, even if it’s just by a damn T-shirt. Or gift it to a friend because they’re crabby but could also use a similar sentiment. Text Verified by REAL JAPANESE PERSON.

Gift idea #5:
Octopus Eco Tote Bag

There are 289 species of octopus recorded to date.* The one featured on this eco-tote has yet to be seen by human eyes—but, when found, would bring that total to 290! Until then, this rare specimen on your tote will remind you the world is a vast and wondrous place.